Feb 24, 2012

kiss and tell :|

The party season is about to begin and it’s time for some of us to brush up our social skills! Especially when it comes to greeting the host or vague acquaintances whose last name you just can’t remember!

I already dread this season more than our unpredictable monsoon! As I still don’t know how the hell does one air kiss a woman? Or, what do I do with my hands when I lean sixty degrees to make the “mwah” sound close to her cheek? The last time, I had to air kiss someone, I ended up putting my hand around her waist and “mwahing” into her ear!

It’s funny that air kissing is rapidly creeping out of party circuits into our homes and replacing good old “namaste”, though it’s considered in the land of Hollywood as an “insincere and childish practice of contemporary showbiz society” which largely comprises of the “maws” – model/actress/whatever!

Which explains why the sound is sometimes “maw mwah”! The only reason why it’s a widely accepted form of greeting is because those at the receiving end of the air kiss have often spent considerable time on their make-up and don’t want it spoilt by your inconsiderate lips.
So they prefer this near-miss kiss with a sound effect to exaggerate the pretence of a genuine kiss. By the way, I am told the ideal distance between two people during an air kiss is between one to three feet. Anything more than that would end up as a vulgar gesture with your lips!
Greeting someone depends a lot on geography. Cheek kissing is socially acceptable in Russia but frowned upon in Europe. But cheek kissing a woman who is not related to you could land you in serious trouble in the Middle East.

As for New Zealand, some Kiwis still greet each other by pressing their respective noses together. It’s known as Hongi, though people who’ve just got a nose job done are advised to stick to the old fashioned handshake.

The idea behind pressing noses is supposed to be symbolic of sharing the breath of life, which again is all fine so long as the other person doesn’t suffer from bad breath or a running nose!
But this party season, I am contemplating on greeting people in Chinese “kowtow” style –which is by kneeling and bowing so low as to touch my head to the ground!

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